The Missing Testimony
On my own experience of a 'bullshit job'.
In his book “Bullshit Jobs: A Theory” (2018), David Graeber argues that many contemporary jobs are ‘bullshit’. He means that people report their jobs as devoid of significance, and if such jobs never existed, it would not change anything in the world. While working on this book, Graeber received numerous emails from people across the world sharing their experiences of being employed in ‘bullshit jobs’. Reading these testimonies made it clear to me that for eight and a half years, I held a position within an organisation that matches this definition. It is not that I did not feel this was the case, but rather, this book and these testimonies showed me that my intuition was correct.
From 2013 to 2021, I worked in a global financial organisation. After a couple of years, the initial happiness of obtaining a white-collar job dissipated. I spent most of my time doing so-called “back office” jobs: “fraud prevention” and “compliance.” These job titles and descriptions came with an air of importance. However, behind this shiny veneer and the promise of an engaging and worthwhile experience, there was nothing but complete boredom and meaninglessness.
These jobs were (and are!) advertised, among other things, for creativity and decision-making, but in reality, there was none of that. All I had to do was follow a “rule book” or “what-to-do” guide, with little or no need to deviate from it. As a fraud prevention agent, my only task was to monitor transactions, trying to detect any fraudulent activity such as stolen identity or account. While sometimes there was such activity, most of the time, there was nothing of this sort (I would say around 95% of cases were not fraudulent). At this ratio, and considering that I had to do this work for ten hours daily, the job was completely dull. I even hoped to find any sign of fraudulent activity but with no luck most of the time. So, in short, my everyday job was to sit and monitor transactions for ten hours a day, in most cases with no action at all. Most of the time, it seemed there was no point in me even being there. Needless to say, the fraud prevention department was soon terminated due to automation (what a surprise!).
I then ended up in the compliance department, where my job was to onboard individual and business customers. The daily tasks were to review customers’ documents (IDs and utility bills mainly) and approve or disapprove them. Again, I had to execute strictly prescribed actions, which were pretty simple: look at the docs, tick the box, click “approve” (or disapprove), copy-paste a standard note, and repeat. And again, I had to do it for ten hours daily. At this stage, I was consumed by not only boredom but a sense of futility and meaninglessness. What am I doing this for? Do people really need this? If it were not for Central Bank regulations, nobody would have cared about it. Nothing would have changed in people’s lives if this job did not exist.
Furthermore, it seemed to me that somebody could have done these jobs in about four hours a day with some effort. However, you are not allowed to leave the workplace; you must stay in the office for another six hours, pretending to be doing something worthwhile. Maybe I should not complain because it allowed me time for my education. But I could easily do this work at home! What is the point of me being in the office doing nothing of value for the employer?
I also began to see the office environment as artificial, meaningless, and even ridiculous—countless meetings that rarely achieved anything useful. (Although, they effectively wasted another hour or so of my six hours “doing nothing” in the office). People walking through the office hugging their laptops with one hand while holding a cup of coffee in the other with the overwhelming self-perception of immense importance while doing, in many cases, the same meaningless, boring jobs; team leaders that try to steer you in the “right” direction, trying to motivate you, albeit with no success in many cases, to “improve” you, trying to convince you to look positively on the boredom consuming you.
Everything the company does is for profit, and I, as an employee, was a part of it. My work did not contribute anything of value to society, nor did it change people’s lives for the better. I was there just to help make money by preventing the loss of money. Depression became a normal state of my daily life. Seeing other people so enthusiastic about their careers in the office, I began to think that something was probably wrong with me and not with the job. However, some people I worked with confessed to me that they felt the same, and while I was consoled that I was not alone in this predicament, it was even worse due to the realisation that many people in the same office feel the same about their jobs but still work there.
If people asked me back then, “What do you do for a living?” I would be embarrassed to answer. Perhaps many people were proud that they held such positions with fancy titles, but for me, it was like confessing that for eight and a half years, I had been doing something futile without any meaning whatsoever.
On the other hand, it was an important experience after all. It showed me that I must avoid such jobs in the future and look for a more meaningful endeavour. I think that most of us will agree that nothing can be more meaningful than doing something useful for society and people. This can be achieved in many different ways. While the majority of ‘bullshit jobs’ are highly paid, at the end of the day, I believe it is nothing compared to the feeling of satisfaction when what you do has a positive impact on the people around you.