Extract from "An Assemblage..."
You’re stuck here. You might as well accept that unless, of course, you decide to check out.
Is this a fabrication, something I created myself?
Start with a question.
Ok, so in reverse, I get it.
What else do you think this is? To exist in physical reality, you must have an identity and with that comes a reality. You are complicit in it. How it is currently wasn’t always the case, discussing this in linear terms, but it is so now. This is all there is.
Why was the tree cut down?
You didn’t need it anymore.
What do you mean I didn’t need it?
It served as an anchor, something in your visual field that grounded you at a time when you were ungrounded. It formed a frame of reference through which you could make sense of things. It did its job, and when you left it, it left you. Everything is connected at a level that human beings cannot understand. Some see it and come up with concepts to explain it, but ultimately, there is no explanation that is completely satisfactory. Take it for granted that when an experience stands out in your conscious awareness, it does so because you called upon it — it and your thought about it mutually arose at a level you have no conscious awareness of.
The plant on the table sends roots into the air. It’s a water plant, and if in its natural habitat would take root and split — just like a human child from its mother. It doesn’t have that opportunity where it currently sits, so the roots die. Just like humans.
Technology is an extension of sorts, a temporary manifestation of yourself. You are becoming absorbed into that to large degrees. You reach into the “ether” (spaces beyond human sensory reading) with these machines, and you discover more. What you may not be aware of is that these machines are extensions of the ego self you have created. They are your eyes and ears and fingers, just like the roots of the water plant. Some die away, and others take root. These others are taking many of you into alternate realities out of which you will not return. This is the way the world you occupy now exists. A new reality will exist for those of you who leave here on that level.
So there are new realities being made by us even though we occupy the same physical reality?
There is a reality unique to every point of “consciousness”.
How do I know I’m not simply fabricating all of this from what I have already been exposed to through all my life experiences?
Well, you see how the answer drops as soon as you ask it? Even before you finish asking it?
Well, all questions and answers, therefore, exist in the same space and time. Of course, you have already realised that space and time are merely aspects that you have created and afforded reality, right?
Back to your question… as we discussed in the first conversation, the validity of the unique self has already been established. To whom will you seek validity if you cannot, will not, accept the validity of your own self and the conversations you have with that self? Should you look to some other human being and what they say as more or less valid than this conversation or any other conversation you may have? Are you insane? To whom should you look for clarification of sanity or insanity?
Men? Religion? Science? Philosophy? Psychology?
Are these not systems of thought?
Now, back to your questions.
What is a psychotic episode?
The ego self becomes detached from its grounding in physical reality. It “floats” so to speak, without its physical attributes. And so that appears to be very scary for the subject. Remember, these are words. We’re doing our best to convey something that is fundamentally experiential. Words never get there. But you know that already. The Aeon video you watched makes a good account of this.
What’s my place here now? I realise there is no going back. I could say to myself that I get to decide, but I don’t think this is entirely accurate. So what’s the story?
You’re doing it. Accept that this is it. Earning money is not an issue, you already have momentum there, so keep doing what you’re doing. Any “effort” will be counterproductive.
I find that hard to digest. I need and want stability.
You have stability, perhaps more stability now than you have ever had before. Soak it up. Do what you write about and go where you are drawn. Question less. And as I told you already…get quiet.
Extract from the compilation, “An Assemblage of Inevitable Misunderstandings”, an unrefined and plotless collection of thoughts and monologues on the phenomenon of life. Time, money, sexuality, politics, art, religion, family, naivety, knowledge, science, imagination, dreams, life and death…whatever. It’s all it.